You Can't Buy Happiness

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If you were offered $300 worth of therapy or $40,000 cash, which would make you happier? I know, you are saying give me the cash and I'll get back with you on that question. Recent findings suggest that therapy may be the better path.

Researchers in Europe compared large numbers of people for changes in happiness. They compared those who sought therapy during a 4-month period with those whose income increased during the same period. Results suggested that it would take an increase of more that $40,000 to match the improvement in happiness that $300 worth of therapy achieved.

How can that be? What makes therapy such an effective path to happiness? Money changes external circumstances - you can get more stuff, but therapy changes you. External changes are easily absorbed into our lives and are quickly taken for granted. A new purse or golf clubs provide a strong immediate boost to your mood, but such a boost in mood does not last.

Therapy can help you to accept responsibility for your mood. You learn to see how your behavior, your thinking, and your relationships affect your mood. This awareness provides you with the ability to find happiness in your daily life.

Are you waiting for external circumstances to change in order for you to find happiness? Are you waiting for Mr. Right, a promotion at work, or a vacation to alter your mood. Instead, try examining your pattern of thinking, your relationship patterns, and your behavior patterns as a source of happiness. Consider visiting a therapist as an avenue for self-examination and a path to happiness instead of treatment reserved just for those suffering from mental illness.

What Is Happiness?

For 42 years, the psychiatrist Dr. George Vaillant has been responsible for the Harvard Study of Adult Development, a study begun in 1937 as a study of healthy, well-adjusted Harvard sophomores (all male), it has followed its subjects for more than 70 years. He has valuable insight into what happiness means from a lifespan perspective.

In an Atlantic article on happiness, Dr. Vaillant suggests that happiness comes from self-acceptance, accepting that it takes years to accurately assess yourself, and that connection with others is paramount.

Fighting Depression and Anxiety: Taking Responsibility For Your Mood

As the economy tanks and our lives become increasingly stressful, it is easy to blame anxiety and depression on outside forces acting on you. It feels as though external events are controlling your mood. Even the weather seems to impact your anxious and depressed mood on a dreary day.

By giving control to outside forces three things happen:

1. You are released from responsibility for your mood.
2. You cannot be judged for your mood.
3. Your mood cannot be expected to change unless circumstances change.

The problem is that such beliefs create helplessness. Helplessness then leads to passivity. No battle is won when we believe that the outcome is out of our control. Even under overwhelming circumstance, we need to believe that we can affect the outcome.

By taking responsibility for your mood,

1. you improve your mood by using active problem solving, even when a solution is not easily had.
2. you build hope for a brighter future by believing your circumstance can change in the future.
3. you tell yourself that you are a warrior who will do all you can to survive any circumstance and come out a happier person.

Helplessness and hopelessness presume that the outcome is going to be negative. Remind yourself daily that no outcome is known until it arrives.

Things not the Source of Happiness

Happiness Study: Imagine No Possessions

United Press International 2009-02-09

Using money to achieve life experiences -- like eating out -- rather than material possessions leads to greater happiness, U.S. researchers found.

Ryan Howell of San Francisco State University said the study demonstrates experiential purchases result in increased well-being because they satisfy higher order needs, specifically the need for social connectedness and vitality -- a feeling of being alive. "Purchased experiences provide memory capital -- we don't tend to get bored of happy memories like we do with a material object."

Howell said study participants were asked to write reflections and answer questions about their recent purchases. Participants indicated that experiential purchases represented money better spent and greater happiness for both themselves and others.

The results also indicate that experiences produce more happiness regardless of the amount spent or the income of the consumer, Howell said.

The findings were presented at the Society for Personality and Social Psychology annual meeting in Tampa, Fla.

This study reminds us that we can foster happiness through a variety of experiences that do not require financial expense. Think of some activities that you could do that might benefit your mood.