The Magic of Talking Therapy

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Psychotherapy is a difficult sell. As a therapist, I am asking my clients to pay for talking to me. When they leave, they leave empty-handed - no prescription, no gifts, no immediate change in their looks or behavior. For many, I am asking them to believe in magic.

I believe in the magic of talking therapy! I know from personal experience and the results of my work that lives are changed as a result of talking to a therapist. But what is the magic source of this change? Here are some examples:

1. When someone listens to you they are saying, "You are worth my time, my attention, and my caring". It is an expression of your worth for someone to listen to you. As a therapist, I listen to the words and search for the meaning sometimes hidden beneath the words. But just as important, I am telling my client, "You have worth."
2. Feelings expressed are more easily managed. There is magic in sharing one's feelings. We all have fears, insecurities, and self-doubts that dwell within us. These feelings can weaken us as tensions and anxieties grow. When we share these feelings, we find that these feelings simply make us human.
   
3. I suspect that most of my clients expect me to offer them nuggets of wisdom that will change their lives. Yet, one magical aspect of therapy is that it acts like a mirror. Talking to someone who accepts you allows you to change your focus off trying to please the therapist and, in the process, leads you to listen to yourself. Listening to yourself talk about yourself is magical. A brief glance in the mirror typically reveals little, but a longer gaze reveals more. The magic of the mirror is that it can reveal the beauty in the eyes even when there are wrinkles around the eyes.

The magic of psychotherapy only reveals itself over time. For some, the relationship builds quickly, but for others it takes many weeks before the relationship gains the special qualities that create magical outcomes.