You Can't Buy Happiness

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If you were offered $300 worth of therapy or $40,000 cash, which would make you happier? I know, you are saying give me the cash and I'll get back with you on that question. Recent findings suggest that therapy may be the better path.

Researchers in Europe compared large numbers of people for changes in happiness. They compared those who sought therapy during a 4-month period with those whose income increased during the same period. Results suggested that it would take an increase of more that $40,000 to match the improvement in happiness that $300 worth of therapy achieved.

How can that be? What makes therapy such an effective path to happiness? Money changes external circumstances - you can get more stuff, but therapy changes you. External changes are easily absorbed into our lives and are quickly taken for granted. A new purse or golf clubs provide a strong immediate boost to your mood, but such a boost in mood does not last.

Therapy can help you to accept responsibility for your mood. You learn to see how your behavior, your thinking, and your relationships affect your mood. This awareness provides you with the ability to find happiness in your daily life.

Are you waiting for external circumstances to change in order for you to find happiness? Are you waiting for Mr. Right, a promotion at work, or a vacation to alter your mood. Instead, try examining your pattern of thinking, your relationship patterns, and your behavior patterns as a source of happiness. Consider visiting a therapist as an avenue for self-examination and a path to happiness instead of treatment reserved just for those suffering from mental illness.

The Magic of Talking Therapy

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Psychotherapy is a difficult sell. As a therapist, I am asking my clients to pay for talking to me. When they leave, they leave empty-handed - no prescription, no gifts, no immediate change in their looks or behavior. For many, I am asking them to believe in magic.

I believe in the magic of talking therapy! I know from personal experience and the results of my work that lives are changed as a result of talking to a therapist. But what is the magic source of this change? Here are some examples:

1. When someone listens to you they are saying, "You are worth my time, my attention, and my caring". It is an expression of your worth for someone to listen to you. As a therapist, I listen to the words and search for the meaning sometimes hidden beneath the words. But just as important, I am telling my client, "You have worth."
2. Feelings expressed are more easily managed. There is magic in sharing one's feelings. We all have fears, insecurities, and self-doubts that dwell within us. These feelings can weaken us as tensions and anxieties grow. When we share these feelings, we find that these feelings simply make us human.
   
3. I suspect that most of my clients expect me to offer them nuggets of wisdom that will change their lives. Yet, one magical aspect of therapy is that it acts like a mirror. Talking to someone who accepts you allows you to change your focus off trying to please the therapist and, in the process, leads you to listen to yourself. Listening to yourself talk about yourself is magical. A brief glance in the mirror typically reveals little, but a longer gaze reveals more. The magic of the mirror is that it can reveal the beauty in the eyes even when there are wrinkles around the eyes.

The magic of psychotherapy only reveals itself over time. For some, the relationship builds quickly, but for others it takes many weeks before the relationship gains the special qualities that create magical outcomes.