Why You Won't Stick to Your Diet

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Imagine your doctor tells you that your cholesterol level is too high and that you should never eat another donut. Will that donut become a smaller part of your life or will your desire grow as you feel deprived of the pleasure of the donut? I think you know the answer to this question – as you consider going for a donut.

In contrast, if you change your lifestyle and choose to eat more fruits and vegetables exercise and generally try to be healthy, then donuts lose their pull. Eating donuts becomes incompatible to your goals and eventually it becomes incompatible to who you are. Your image of yourself has changed and you rarely feel deprived of donuts.

You probably have a long list of behaviors you would like to change—a list that you have had for a long time. You wrestle with the behaviors, sometimes taming them only to see them raise their ugly heads once again. It is better to search for incompatible behaviors that you can build that will ultimately push out the behaviors you want to eliminate.

Instead of trying to stop being anxious, find ways of behaving courageously by looking for challenges you can manage. Instead of trying to stop being depressed, find ways to be more active, generous, or grateful. Instead of trying to change an important person in your life, change your approach to that person. Set goals that are easily achievable and don’t expect to always succeed! In fact, quit trying to always succeed – oh, that’s right, it’s hard to quit.

Imperfect You In An Imperfect World

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Are you controlling? By controlling I mean, do you feel compelled to control the outcome of every situation. It is stressful for you to feel that the situation is out of your control? Is it difficult for you to wait in a long? Does it drive you crazy to wait for a table in a restaurant?

The need to control the environment news can reflect low frustration tolerance. Frustration tolerance is something that we learned as a child. Some children's parents do not give them sufficient frustration to learn how to manage such feelings. The tension that comes with frustration is something to be avoided thanks rather than something to be tolerated.

Do you find yourself becoming angry when presented with a frustrating situation? Do you blame others for frustration that is beyond anyone's control? If so, you must examine the messages you give yourself. For instance, do you tell yourself that the tension is unbearable? Examine that thought. Is the tension unbearable or simply unpleasant? By telling yourself that it is unbearable, you are lessening your ability to manage the tension.

Sometimes, the effort to control emerges in perfectionism. You struggle to allow yourself to make mistakes. You punish yourself errors in judgment. In this case, the frustration comes from not being perfect. You have not learned to tolerate your own imperfections. Some folks go to great lengths to avoid any appearance of imperfection.

Whether you are tolerating an imperfect environment or your own imperfections, you must be able to accept that imperfections are part of everyday life. When you do this, you will find that the tension becomes more manageable and your mood is lighter.